We all have that “one” sex toy, right? Sure, we get new, technologically advanced wonders that hold our attention for a while, but then there’s that one. It’s the standby when everything else is dead, charging, or a bitch to clean. It’s the one we grab when we need to get off with a predictable orgasm we can trust. We all have an Old Reliable.
This red lacy number is mine. This was actually a replacement for a metallic-painted model of the same size and power. That’s when I learned to masturbate through my underwear – cheap metallic paint rubs off.
I can’t tell you who makes this one, for two reasons. First, my former company carried them and if I even got a picture from a different angle I’d “out” who I was a home party rep for. Second, it’s been discontinued. I think I tracked it down a couple of years ago in off white, but that just wasn’t the same. When the first one died, I had a second still in stock, but then I realized that eventually that one would die, so I began to track down other reps who still had them (and most were happy to get rid of them) so I have a small stockpile. Yes, Old Reliable means that much to me. My first vibrators were a set of slimline vibes, and only this size, battery capacity, and type of control work for me.
Old Reliable is a hard ABS plastic traditional vibrator with a dial control and only steady vibration. It’s so simple, yet so elegant. The beauty of this is its simplicity. It’s nothing special, really. When you first put the batteries in, it doesn’t turn on – you have to wrench that cap on and squish the water-resistant gasket. You almost feel like you’ll break it, but you won’t. It’s sturdy as fuck. It has to be. It falls off the nightstand with some velocity. The best part? It’s cheap. Even at full price this wouldn’t break the bank for a beginner and packs more power and speed variation than a corded egg bullet, plus gives you something to hold on to that doesn’t numb your hand.
Unlike most slimlines, this baby takes C batteries – two of ’em. Most of the thing is the battery compartment. This is not your wimpy AA or AAA motor. When full batteries are available, it packs some serious power. When batteries are low, there’s none of this dying in the middle of the fun nonsense like a rechargeable – it gets less powerful, so you know that next time you need to be prepared.
The dial is the important function. Too many slimline vibes today have buttons and useless patterns. This takes away from the autonomy of choosing vibration strength, and the beauty of a gradual build-up for something that normally can’t match the power of a rechargeable bullet. The lowest speeds are rumbly thanks to a very large motor in the tip. The higher speeds are buzzy but powerful and by that point my clit doesn’t care. The tip is hard and almost pinpoint, and I can apply as much pressure as I want, since the it fits between my labia and finds my clit with ease.
This is the vibe I use when I’m lazy. I use it through my underwear and occasionally PJ pants to minimize clean-up. With fresh batteries it’ll power through a menstrual pad on a heavy day. The plastic glides over fabric easily – I couldn’t do that with a matte finish or draggy silicone. I use it as the stealth “mommy needs a moment” during the day or just before falling asleep. When Carrie is away on business, this is my usual go-to. I can position it just right using a pillow and my thighs and have a generally hands-free ride, although I usually need to hang on during the orgasm to keep it on the right spot.
I’m sad that it’s gone, but on the bright side, CalExotics makes a dial-controlled, C-battery operated, colored plastic model that fits the bill nicely, and it’s just under $20 bucks (for the same price, you could get the Le Reve one, but that’s a Pipedream brand and they make money off of a sex crime, y’all, so go with the lesser of the two evils this time). If you’ve never used a vibrator before, this is a good type to start with.