Review: Le Wand


Le Wand

What do you get when you take a Magic Wand Rechargeable body, a Doxy Die Cast head, and the French word for “the”? Le Wand.

When the Le Wand showed up, Oldest said, “You know what Le Wand reminds me of? The Le Spatula, from Spongebob, in that episode he was naked most of the time. Because he sold everything he had to get it.” And at $170, I feel like this toy is a lot like Le Spatula. It does what other toys do perfectly well already, but it’s ~fancy~.

Basic Stats

Le Wand is 13″ long and 2.25″ in diameter, which is pretty standard for a full size wand. The head is made of body-safe satin finish silicone. Like most full-size, heavy duty wands, it isn’t waterproof.

It’s heavy, too. I don’t own a scale, but it’s perceptively heavier than the Magic Wand Original, and about on par with the Doxy Die Cast. That’s pretty heavy.

Le Wand ButtonsThere are 10 vibration speeds and 20 vibration patterns. You know me; I’m no fan of excessive patterns. It’s operated by 3 buttons: a +, a -, and a function button between them to change patterns. It does not remember the last pattern you used, and given that there are so many, you’ll have to remember where your favorite lies in the order. I’d think that for $170, they could have thrown a memory chip in this thing.

It comes with a zippered case, a disposable texture cap made out of god knows what, and international plug adaptors for the charging cord. It lasts 3 hours when fully charged, which also takes about 3 hours.

The Le Wand is available in white and grey, thankfully eschewing the ever-so-common pink.

Mary’s Experience

My first impression of Le Wand was its heft. It’s certainly not for people with dexterity or joint issues. It’s easy enough for me to clamp between my thighs, but due to where the buttons are located and the overall balance, I usually have to use both hands to use this toy.

My second impression? It’s loud. Very loud. Wands are often louder than other types of toys, but Le Wand rivaled my next door neighbor’s weedwacker, even drowning it out during one testing session. I was tempted to buy a decibel meter just for this toy. My Doxy Die Cast is much quieter. I’d be concerned about the volume if we lived in an apartment. I feel weird just sharing a wall next to my son’s bedroom when I use this, even under a blanket.

As a sex toy party sales rep, it was commonplace to tell people that loud toys can be muffled by blankets. However, the Le Wand manual specifically tells you not to do this. I did anyway, since that’s how I use wands. It’s not that I like to live dangerously, but I primarily use wands to get off quickly before falling asleep. I don’t need a toy telling me I shouldn’t be comfortable when using it. If the issue is a legitimate danger of fire, that’s a good reason not to buy this toy. But it’s even more ridiculous to suggest not to use it under blankets when the damn thing is so fucking loud.

Volume aside, how are the vibrations? Not perceptively different from other wands I own. I appreciate that the 10 vibration levels are distinctly different, whereas my Doxy Die Cast can be finicky with speed changes. It’s rumblier at lower speeds, and buzzier at higher speeds. The vibrations aren’t unpleasant, but they’re pretty similar to the Doxy Die Cast. The Le Wand isn’t a new revolution in wand vibration, but it’s not a disappointment, either.

Le Wand HeadThe head lacks the Magic Wand “corner” that I like so much. It’s shaped exactly like the Doxy heads. It’s rounded, and that makes it have a much more broad stimulation. I prefer more pinpoint stimulation, but the vibrations do penetrate well enough to get the job done, just like my Doxy…only louder.

I tested to see if Le Wand has an auto shut-off like the Magic Wand Rechargeable after 20 minutes, but it doesn’t. Given that it also doesn’t feature a travel lock and warns that you not use it covered up, I have concerns that it could turn on accidentally and at best wear the battery down. At worst, I’m still wondering if there’s a fire risk.

I don’t like patterns, but I noticed the majority are unpredictable. The individual pulsations and escalations seem random until they repeat, save for a few. I don’t know who these other patterns are for, but they’re certainly not for people who like predictable, consistent patterns.

I was worried the neck of Le Wand would be too flexible, but it’s actually more stiff. I can get the pressure I need. But when applying pressure, that volume problem crops up again – it gets even louder. I’ve felt like I might break it, and kept trying to find a position where I could put pressure along the shaft instead of at an angle.

I also need to talk for a minute about the pretentious marketing. In this EAN interview, Le Wand’s creator, Alicia Sinclair, throws a lot of shade at other wands. But when you look at Le Wand, you can clearly see it borrows the body of the Magic Wand Rechargeable and the head is clearly Doxy style. It’s this kind of bullshit that tends to tarnish the reputation of a toy before reviewers even get their hands on it.

There’s also the issue with their “disposable” texture cover, which I refused to use because I have no idea what it’s made from. Given that our country has opted out of the Paris Accord, forcing climate change action on communities and individual consumers, I’m not so sure an environmentally unfriendly option such as this should even exist.

Overall

Personally, Le Wand doesn’t impress me. It’s loud, heavy, and tells me not to use it under blankets. At $170, I don’t see there’s $45 more value in Le Wand over the Magic Wand Rechargeable. Cordless is great, but I find my Doxy Die Cast has a long enough cord for us to do all we want with it in our bedroom. Given that the Die Cast is significantly quieter and just as heavy, but with larger buttons in a better place on the handle, I do see a $29 value in the Die Cast over Le Wand. If you want rechargeable, go with the Magic Wand Rechargeable. If you don’t mind cords and prefer something quieter with a broad stimulation head, spend a little extra for the Doxy Die Cast. I’m just not sure Le Wand has a solid place in my toy drawer, or the market in general.

 

Peepshow Toys

Thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending me this toy to review. If you get a wand from them, use code mary for 10% off!

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