Review: Jopen Callie Dual Massager 1

Jopen Callie Dual Massager

The Jopen Callie line is very pretty. The collection caught my eye with news of its release. I got brave and reached out to the good folks at Good Vibrations to ask to try it. They graciously agreed and sent one for my honest review.

The Jopen Callie collection features white silicone toys with gold tone ABS and acrylic jewel accents. Yes, it’s a bit pretentious, but not as pretentious as 24k gold, and the price is right. At just undert $75, this is an affordable silicone rechargeable rabbit. I’ve sold crappy, loud, battery-powered porous rabbits for upwards of $150 a pop, so the price point was a huge draw. Rabbits are popular, so I’ve been wanting to branch out beyond the LELO Ina 2.

Jopen Callie JewelThe jewel at its base is the on, off, and function button. Hold it down for 3 seconds to turn it on or off, and once it’s on press once to change the function. To their credit, the makers of the Jopen Callie distinguished between functions and speeds, but on the Dual Massager unit alone. The speed control is on the left side of the shaft, though, which I’ll get to in a moment.

The Jopen Callie Dual Massager is rechargeable, like the rest of the line, and charges to full power in about 2 hours. It’s made of a lovely white silicone. The shaft is wide and filling, maxing out at 1.75″ in diameter. The clitoral arm is 2″ long and very flexible.

Despite the jewel on the end, I think the Jopen Callie collection is attractive. It’s bright and not pink. The shapes are sleek and the rabbit is presented in a box that doubles as storage. The silicone is silky smooth and relatively resistant to dust, lint, & pet hair. I don’t use toys in the water, but it’s waterproof, if that’s your thing.

The shaft motor surprised me. It’s powerful and rumbly. There’s even a function that turns it into a thuddy sensation. This is enough to shake my internal clitoris, but the lack of curve on the shaft means there’s little G-spot pressure.

I can’t help but compare the shape of this to my beloved Ina 2. I had hoped this would be a good alternative at less than half the price. Sadly, it doesn’t even come close. Because the shaft is wide and straight, it doesn’t “lock” into my body the way the Ina 2 does. I can’t twist it to achieve the “squeaky” effect on my G-spot. Even if it did come close to curving I couldn’t do that anyway because the clitoral arm is too flexible for my body. This is the thing about rabbits: you have to know your body really well. Even then, you can be wrong. I was wrong about this one.

Because the arm is so flexible, it refuses to stay in place. I have to fully insert the whole thing to get it to hit my clitoris. Due to the shape of the shaft, the whole toy gets pushed out of my vagina when I get anywhere close to an orgasm, pulling the clitoral arm off my clitoris and poking my urethra. The clitoral vibrator itself is weak and buzzy. It feels like someone blowing a raspberry out the side of their mouth, because blowing a full raspberry would be asking too much.

Jopen Callie Rabbit Buttons

My biggest issue with this toy isn’t that it’s dissatisfying, though. It’s the poor design. The dual stimulator is the only one in the Jopen Callie line to have separate speed controls, and they’re on the shaft of the toy. Let’s get real here. Jopen placed speed controls on the shaft so they could fit that pretentious plastic jewel on the base.  Why did they do this? Didn’t they test this on humans with labia? These “buttons” are impossible to tell apart, too. You have to feel for both impressions because they aren’t raised buttons, and they don’t have a noticeable tactile click. They’re practically invisible in Jopen’s video that I found while trying to figure out how to charge the thing:

Interestingly, the video mentions 5 speeds, but I count clearly 6 of them. Yes there are 5 clicks, but it starts on the highest setting, and goes down 5 more settings. Yes, you read that right. It starts on the highest speed. I’m not sure what’s more infuriating: the near invisibility of the speed buttons or the fact that using them is a requirement because it starts on the highest setting.

Thank goodness for the video, too, because I never would have figured out that the handle pops off to charge it without it. There’s no excuse for such a deficient product manual. They could have at least made a manual for the Callie line. The manual that comes with the Jopen Callie line is so generic it references batteries.

While I was impressed with the look of this toy and its shaft vibrations, the Jopen Callie Dual Massager disappointed me in practically every other aspect. If they’d just started it on low and put the speed control buttons in the base, I probably would have felt more positively about it. It needs more, though. It needs a stronger, longer clitoral arm or a G-spot curve – preferably both.

I suspect the Jopen Callie “wand” vibrator is a better bet: just as powerful, without the invisible speed controls on the shaft and annoying clitoral arm. That might actually be one to check out if you’re looking for an external or internal vibe. If you’re looking for a rabbit, though, you’ll need small labia and a close clitoris-to-vagina distance to really fall in love with the Jopen Callie Dual Massager.

Thanks again to Good Vibrations, where there’s a large selection of other rabbit vibes!

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One thought on “Review: Jopen Callie Dual Massager

  • C. Poly (@CPoly69)

    It’s a beautiful toy. Too bad it sounds like it functions terribly. I wonder if they might take into consideration complaints and create Jopen Callie Dual Massager 2 with a more curved shaft and stiffer arm…