The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet is a small powerhouse of a vibe. It surprised and delighted me. I’ve been looking for a body-safe, affordable competitor to the We-Vibe Tango, and this sure comes close. It’s impossible for me not to compare the two, so if you’ve always wanted a Tango but the price was out of reach, read on.
The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet is housed in satiny silicone, with just a bit of drag. It’s slightly larger than the Tango, at 4″ long and a full inch in diameter. It’s rechargeable via USB, using a pin you inject into the side of the base. While I’m more of a fan of universal USB connectors, the pin is far more stable and reliable than the Tango’s finicky magnetic connector.
Like the Tango, it’s waterproof and operated by a single button. You must hold the button down for 2-3 seconds to turn it on or off.
It’s packed with 3 speeds and 17 individual vibration patterns, for a total of 20 functions. To me, this is excessive, but I know some people do like having lots of options. You’ll have to remember what number is your favorite pattern, though, because it only cycles through them in one direction.
The FemmeFunn Ultra comes in turquoise, purple, and pink, with a contrast color button (pink or purple). Personally, I love the turquoise one I was sent. It includes a color-coordinated storage bag that’s actually nice. It’s a soft material, unlike many chintzy satin storage bags some toys come with that crinkle like paper.
At a mere $40, I was skeptical about the vibrations on this bullet. I was pleasantly surprised to feel some rumble! The FemmeFunn Ultra isn’t quite as rumbly as the Tango, but it’s close. It starts with 3 increasing vibration speeds, as opposed to the Tango’s 4. There’s quite a jump in speed between the first and second settings, and this took me by surprise at first. It wasn’t unpleasant, just unexpected. It’s this second speed that gets me off reliably nearly every time, and I’m glad to have the third speed when I need it. The first speed is about equivalent to the Tango on speed 1, and the second speed about equivalent to the Tango’s 3rd speed. The FemmeFunn Ultra’s 3rd speed is on par with the Tango’s 4th speed. It gets slightly buzzier on its fastest speed, but there’s still plenty of rumble. If you like power, you’ll like this bullet.
While the Tango remembers the last setting you used, the FemmeFunn Ultra has a bit of a quirk in its memory, or rather, lack thereof. When you turn it off, it will switch to the next speed or pattern. When you turn it back on, it’s this setting that it returns to, not the one you used. Then, if you press the button once, it returns to low speed. This quirk could be a dealbreaker for some, especially if you like patterns, but it wasn’t for me. I much prefer starting on a low setting and working my way to more powerful speeds.
The battery life on the FemmeFunn Ultra is much longer than the We-Vibe Tango. With the Tango, I can get away with maybe 2 uses before it starts blinking at me. I lost count of the number of times I used the FemmeFunn Ultra before it finally died. I do wish it had a low-power indicator, and the light is quite bright when charging.
Despite the silicone exterior, the FemmeFunn Ultra’s vibrations aren’t substantially dampened. The vibration is focused on the rounded tip. The body of the toy has a bit of flex to it, especially at the neck just above the base. This was something I had to get used to, since applying the same pressure to the Tango would mean stabbing my clit. There’s no clit-stabbing, no hard plastic edges. The rounded tip provides mostly pinpoint stimulation, but it’s not as pinpoint as the sharper tip of the Tango. The stimulation definitely isn’t as broad as the We-Vibe Wish. It’s somewhere between the two, and my clit adores it.
By the way, the base isn’t much wider than the widest part of the toy, so don’t go sticking this in your butt, lest it get lost (and with that battery life, it’ll likely still be vibrating when doctors extract it).
Dare I say it? The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet has quickly become my favorite bullet. Its long battery life, reliable charging method, and moderately pinpoint stimulation has unseated the We-Vibe Tango as my go-to bullet. Best of all, it’s half the price. Someone certainly put some thought into how to construct a great bullet when they made this. It has its quirks, but I can overlook those for rumble, power, and an affordable price tag.
Thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending us this toy to review. You can use code mary for 10% off, making the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet only $36 here.