Review: Aneros Eupho Syn


The Aneros Eupho Syn is an ABS plastic and silicone prostate massager. Vibrant sent this to us as a follow up to compare with the Helix Classic.

Basic Stats

The Aneros Eupho Syn is made from hard ABS plastic, with a smooth-to-the touch matte silicone coating on the main body and perineum arm of the toy. It shares the same stats as the Helix Classic: about 4″ insertable, 4.5″ inches overall, and .75″ in diameter at it’s widest point. However, due to the shape of the toy and where the width sits on the body, the Aneros Eupho Syn appears slimmer. ABS plastic and silicone are non-porous and body-safe, so you can easily clean it with soap and water or sanitize it with a 10% bleach solution. As with the Aneros Classic line, since the core body is plastic, I wouldn’t recommend boiling or putting the toy through a high-heat dishwasher, as it might warp the shape of the toy.

Carrie’s Experience

When I look at the Aneros Eupho Syn, I imagine a board room full of men:

“We had a monumental success with our last model,” the boss man would say, “and we need to make this new line even better. Ideas, and go!”

After a few seconds of awkward silence, someone pipes up, “Maybe we should dip it in silicone? The market is all about silicone today.”

“I like it! More silicone equals more market share; put it on the board! Next!”

“The tab arm could be made of silicone! Make it flexible; we’ll call it a ‘comfort tab’!” chimes another.

“Yes! Flexibility high, comfort high, probability for success high! Put it on the board – next!”

“And what if we only covered most of the toy? Leave a break between the handle and the rest of it. We could make it two-toned; black silicone and red plastic!” yet another would suggest.

“Black and red… Yes… Yes! Men love black with flames! I feel another win coming on, boys!”

I have questions. Why use silicone when ABS is already non-porous? And why only most of the toy? Won’t that leave a seam that lube and other gunk can get caught up on? Why make the arm flexible? This toy uses leverage on that arm with the PC muscles; if its flexible, won’t it lose leverage? And I’d ask why we need another black and red toy, when most of the “male” toys are some combination of black, red, and chrome, but I think I already know the answer to that one.

Pushing the questions aside, I began lubing the Aneros Eupho Syn so I could get my PC muscle workout on. I was expecting the toy to work about the same way as the Helix Classic did. Insertion was very easy and required no warm up, as the Eupho Syn is just slightly wider than my index finger at its widest. The matte finish was a good choice on the silicone, and made for a smooth insert. I noticed that the tip of the toy didn’t connect quite as solidly with my prostate as the Helix Classic did, but I chalked that up more to the different design of the Eupho than anything. Even the Eupho Classic appears to have a less pronounced head by comparison.

Once I was sure of the toy’s placement, I laid back on the bed on a towel and began flexing and relaxing my PC muscles. And… nothing. No real pressure on my prostate at all. I tried again, harder – still nothing. I reached behind me and took hold of the handle and moved it manually back and forth a little. While that seemed to get pressure, the contortion I was doing did not leave me in a prime orgasm position, and defeated the purpose of being hands-free. I reached in front of me and felt the ‘comfort arm’ while flexing and relaxing, and could feel the arm bending. I had found my culprit – the arm was so flexible that it didn’t let the toy quiver like the Helix Classic had.

To be sure, I also lubed up the Helix Classic and tried it out. No, I wasn’t doing it wrong or imagining things; the Helix worked just fine. I tried for a second round with the Eupho Syn, you know, for science, but to no avail. And, a few minutes later, as I was cleaning lube and other gunk out of the seam where the ABS meets the silicone, I realized that I had answered all my own questions.

Overall

Look, I have nothing against Aneros. In fact, one of my favorite toys is the Helix Classic. But for me, the Aneros Eupho Syn is a case study in adding seemingly beneficial features to something that was already great, but getting something less than ideal as a result. Solutions in search of problems. I wish I could say that I might suggest this to prostate massage novices, but the fact that the toy couldn’t create leverage might lead a novice to conclude that these toys don’t work for them, they’re doing it wrong, or that prostate play just can’t be for them. Instead, I might suggest this to someone more advanced – someone who knows their needs well enough to know they really don’t like or need much pressure on their prostate to get off. For just about all other folks, I still highly recommend the Aneros Helix Classic instead.

Thanks to Vibrant for sending us this toy to test for an honest review.

When you buy your toys from Vibrant, proceeds benefit Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains and shipping is FREE for orders over $50!

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