Review and Affiliate Policy


This blog is a personal blog written and edited  by two individuals, under pseudonyms Mary Q. (Ms./she/her) and Carrie V. (Mx./she/her) Contrary. We accept a wide variety of sex products for review. This policy page provides information for business entities wishing to partner with us for reviewing products and affiliate programs.

We’re in the USA

Please only reach out to us if you are willing to send products to the USA and pay affiliate/advertising payouts in US dollars. We’ve made it clear elsewhere on the site and on Twitter we are USA bloggers. We’re hoping to save you (and ourselves) wasted time by making it clear here, too. Unfortunately, we’ve had a few companies assume we live elsewhere, so we want to make sure you know.

Review Timeline

Reviews take a minimum of 3 weeks, and may take as long as 8 weeks when our queue is full. Some items may take even longer, especially if we receive them without payment and affiliate program (we may really want the item, but paying customers come first).

We are both mentally ill, which affects our ability to write, and these depressive slumps may cause further delay. We thank you in advance for your understanding and commitment to the intersection of mental health and sex.

Mechanical defects will also cause reviews to take longer, as we will need a product replacement. Manufacturing defects happen, and often consumers run to the Internet to search about these problems before contacting the retailer. We do note defects in our review and how the companies involved handled the replacement. Please use the same process you use with customers in the event of a manufacturing defect so that we can let our audience know what to expect from you in the event there is a problem.

Affiliate Links

We are selective with our affiliates. We will not recommend a store or manufacturer that we would not shop from ourselves.

If you wish to partner with us as affiliates for your online sex toy store or brand we have the following requirements:

  • A generally sex positive or feminist view towards sex – that all adults deserve to seek pleasure without judgement and with ongoing consent.
  • Your marketing must not be oppressive in nature. This means you will not rely on heavily misogynist, transphobic, fatphobic, homophobic, racist, ableist, or otherwise oppressive marketing tactics. This includes your social media presence.
  • The bulk of your product line must be non-porous and body safe. As little jelly or creative pseudonyms for TPR as possible.
  • Strong business ethics and professionalism, including prompt payment of affiliate balances and clear terms.
  • You must provide us with images we can use in our banners.
  • Affiliate commissions must be greater than 10%. Current programs are grandfathered in. We will not accept any more at 10% or less.

Please be aware we reserve the right to remove affiliate links and any reviews if we discover the above requirements are not met, and disclaimers posted on any sponsored posts after the fact. You agree to this by accepting us into your affiliate program, just as we agree to your terms therein.

Sponsored Posts and Reviews

We do post sponsored content and advertising as blog posts. We also will review products, via sponsored posts, when a retailer does not have an affiliate program, or the affiliate program offers 10% commission or less. This content will be in our own words. We are required by law to disclose paid-for posts, and all links are nofollow attributed.

We charge a competitive rate, comparable to the affiliate income, on average, that we get from an affiliate in a year. Yet, your sponsored post remains on our site for the life of the site. That’s a bargain!

We may decline ads for products that we feel do not mesh with our brand, are unsafe in some way, or are from manufacturers that produce a large quantity of jelly, porous, racist, misogynist, transphobic, or other problematic products, use oppressive marketing (including social media), or who engage in shady business practices.

If you would like us to review a product and do not have an affiliate program, or your affiliate program offers 10% commission or less, this is the option that will be offered to you. Please contact us to inquire about pricing.

PAYMENT IS DUE UPFRONT. NO REFUNDS. You’re paying for a form of advertising. See our Advertising Terms for more information.

Please also read the section below:

Adult Product Review Policy

We review a vast array of adult products. Where we receive items for review, we will always disclose who sent it to us. Our reviews are always in our own words, unless we’ve invited a fellow blogger to write a guest post (notice it says “invited” – do not invite yourself). Our reviews are our own opinions based on our personal tastes and are never guaranteed to be positive, even if we initiate a request for review, and even if the review is a sponsored post. We may take into consideration other factors and mention information about the retailer or manufacturer that we think readers will want to know.

If you are interested in working with us on reviews, you must agree to the following:

  • Do not contact us to buy items from you. Plan to send it to us at no cost or not at all (for books, e-book or pdf is perfectly fine).
  • For website subscriptions, we ask for at least one full month (at least 30 days) to review your content.
  • If you are an online shop, you must have an affiliate program with commission over 10% or sponsor a post.
  • If you are a manufacturer, the product must be carried by one of our affiliate stores. If you only sell at a store that has a less than 10% affiliate payout or no affiliate program at all, you must sponsor a post.
  • We do not review Pipedream Products items, for ethics reasons.
  • We do not review porous insertable products, for our own health and safety.
  • We do not review hyper-osmotic lubes or those that contain glycerin, polyquaterniums, or parabens.
  • Once you send a product it is ours, and our review is honest, even if it is sponsored. You may not request payment, refund, or product return once it leaves your warehouse.
  • If you have a review deadline, we’re happy to work with you, but please give us at least 3 weeks.
  • You may not request to see the post before it goes live, and you may not request edits to the general content of the post – that’s called astroturfing, and it is illegal per the Federal Trade Commission. However, it’s perfectly fine to catch a typo or correct/clarify information if we make a mistake.
  • We believe in professional relationships and expect professional behavior from company contacts. This includes company owners. If you behave childishly, we reserve the right to publicize emails and any other communications.
  • Companies that work with us must agree to preserve our anonymity. Our business partners agree to be responsible and ethical with this information, and agree to be responsible for the consequences of knowingly releasing this information, up to and including monetary compensation. This non-disclosure is legally binding. Willfully leaking this information will be met with legal action. 
  • We may decline reviews for products that we feel unqualified to comment on, including but not limited to: cam sites, medical play items, electrostim products, products that feature Bluetooth smartphone compatibility, products designed solely for penis-in-vagina sex, and positioning guide books for straight couples.

We may decline reviews for businesses that we feel do not mesh with our brand, or products from manufacturers that produce a large quantity of jelly, porous, racist, misogynist, transphobic, or other problematic products or who engage in shady business practices. We reserve the right to remove or disclaim reviews if we discover something nefarious after the fact.

By sending us products to review, you agree to this policy.

We do use social media to promote our own content, as well as affiliate sales and promotions. If you are an advertiser and would like to inquire about social media ads, please contact us.