About Mary


Screw This I'm Gonna Sell Vibrators

I used to be a sales representative for one of the larger MLM in-home sex toy party companies. We were not allowed to talk about our own bedroom lives, say anything that might paint our company or industry in a negative light, or profit from other channels on the sale of dildos and the like. I went rogue.

When I started this blog, I needed a safe space to vent about some of my job frustrations and tell stories that others in my industry might relate to. I also liked to use and review products my company didn’t carry, so I needed a space where I could anonymously review them. I also needed a safe space to talk honestly about my mental health struggles. In short, I wanted to be free to tell it like it is for me.

Carrie and I have been married for 10 years. At first, I struggled when they came out as genderfluid and demisexual. Our relationship has been a revolution for our politics. We choose to remain monogamous, for the most part.

We review from our perspective and preferences. I am plus size and find most harnesses and toys lacking in consideration for larger individuals. My clit is a righty, external, and picky. My G-Spot is shallow and I’m getting better acquainted with it. In kink I’m a switch. As a sub I enjoy sensory deprivation, orgasm denial/control, impact play, rough sex, restraints and rope bondage, and psychological manipulation. As a Domme, I enjoy being waited on, being shaved, shaving or waxing my sub, impact play, and having my vinyl boots licked (among other things). Expect these perspectives if you are looking for a reviewer.

Other than that, I’m both a cat person and a dog person. I enjoy my coffee with a lot of creamer. I love wine and whiskey & Coke Zero. I’m a bit of a stoner, medicating for anxiety and back pain that’s never gone away since a car accident several years ago. I’m a gamer geek who prefers RPG’s and tabletop games. I have two children, Youngest, who is a tween, and Oldest, a teenager. I home school Youngest.

My spouse and I only review nontoxic, non-porous products. Our reviews are 100% honest. Our blog roll features blogs we actively read. You can read Disclosures & Policies here.

If you’re not a bot, you can reach out to me at marryqconfesses at gmail dot com.